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THE ADOPTION OPTION

IS IT RIGHT FOR YOU?

 Frequently Asked Questions




What Is Private Adoption?

Adoption is the permanent placement of a child with loving people you choose.  With your help and direction, they can give your baby all of the love and the life that you would if it were the right time for you to be a parent.

How can I be sure my baby is going to a good home?

 Adoptive parents undergo a careful screening process that includes federal criminal checks. The screening includes a home study of the potential adoptive parents to insure they are stable, financially secure, loving, caring and  affectionate marriage partners.

 More non-traditional families can include single adoptive parents and same sex  parents.   

 Who picks the Adoptive parents for my baby?

 The Birth Mother picks from the qualified potential Adoptive Parents that the Adoption  Attorneys provide. These potential parents all prepare a photo album outlining their life  to show to someone considering adoption. Then we arrange for Birth Mother and the parents she has chosen to meet to make sure that she feels they are who she wants.  An  Adoption Professional is present at your first meeting to help everyone feel comfortable.

Does the Birth Mother have to go to Court for the adoption?

No, After delivery and the Birth Mother feels she is up to it, she will sign the papers at the hospital. If the Birth Father is available, then he could do his paperwork at the same time.  If the baby is already born or is older, then the papers can be done in the attorney's office. It is a very short process. 

Are Birth Parents likely to feel sadness After An Adoption?

Some Birth Mothers feel a little, some feel a lot of sadness. Knowing you have done the best you could for your child will be a source of strength for you. Emotions have to settle and that is different for every individual.

What is the difference Between Closed and Open Adoption?

In a closed adoption the birth mother may still choose from the photo albums of the  couples,or she may want help from us to select. She can choose to  work with one of the adoption counselors for the big decisions and not be very involved.  Open Adoption means the birth mother picks  the adoptive parents photo albums. Meets the parents and spends time with them during the pregnancy. She normally lets the adoptive parents be in the waiting room at the hospital. Afterwards the parents keep in touch with pictures, updates, phone calls, texts and possible visits. 

I have started an adoption with someone but I am not comfortable, what can I do?

Call and we can talk about it. If it small things that we can help you work through, we will be happy to help.  If it can not be worked out with them, then we can help you to make a new plan. Remember, Adoption is your plan and you need to feel comfortable with your decisions.  No plan is totally free from small problems but the big decisions need to be in place and you need to feel good about them.

My child is older, can I still make an adoption plan?  

Yes, an adoption plan can be made for a child as long as you have the legal rights to the child.         

Can I get financial help with my living expenses During the pregnancy and after?

In most all states financial assistance is available to help replace lost wages that you could have made . Adoptive parents may help with living and medical expenses during pregnancy and after birth for 6 to 8 weeks. If you want to give us a call we can help list many of the daily living expenses that help provide for you and your other children.

Does a Birth Mother have to name the Father?

Each state is different but in most there are only a few circumstances that requires the Birth Mother to name the Birth Father.  Some times the Father is involved and both Birth Parents have worked together to make this decision. In that case everyone works together for the good of the baby. 

What if I need counseling to help me?   

Counseling is always available. Many birthmoms need counseling with other issues other than the adoption. Counseling is always available. Many birthmoms need counseling with other issues other than the adoption itself.  She may need help in dealing with an ex or help dealing with parenting a teenager.  Many of these things do not even have anything to do with the adoption but if she needs help dealing with day to day problems then counseling can be  arranged.  

Can a Birth Parent under 18yrs old consent to an adoption with out parents knowledge or consent?                                   

Yes, most all states have laws that recognizes any birth mother is the parent and is able to make decisions alone about their child. 

Does the baby Go To A Foster home first?

Many Birth Mothers worry about this. In private adoption, the baby goes directly from the hospital to the adoptive parents home, unlike agency adoptions.

If I have a drug problem can I still place the baby? 

Yes, you can place the baby at birth. I have never had Social Services get involved as long as you have a safety plan in place. A safety plan that includes a private placement.

Can I get help to go to rehab if I want to?

Yes, we encourage you to go to rehab and will do everything possible to make that happen for you. We can only give you the options. No one can make you go to rehab.

Are there families that will love my baby if I have issues with drugs?

Yes, many families are ready to take on the challenges that come with babies born addicted.

Is an Adoptive family going to judge me if I am addicted to drugs?

Absolutely not, some things are out of your control. We feel strongly that the families we work with are not judgmental or we do not need to work with them. We just want to help you and the baby.

Will I go to jail if I am on drugs and I come forward to make an adoption plan?

My experience has been that In 26 years I have never seen a birthmom that has made a safety plan for her child , go to jail when the baby is born addicted.  

What happens if I am in jail, can I still place my baby or will the State automatically take my child?

You can still make an adoption plan for your baby even if you are incarcerated. You are still allowed to select the parents and they can come to visit you just like anyone else. The State does require you to have a plan for the child. If you do not have a plan then the child will go to fostercare.

Can I do a private placement if Social Services has taken my child?

It is according to the state. Many states allow you to do a private adoption if you make the plan within a certain amount of time after the child has been taken into  foster care., usually 6 to 8 months. It may be possible to get a child out of Foster Care and into a private adoption after that but i is much more difficult and it may not be successful, but we are willing to try if that is what you think is best for your baby.

What happens if I am not a citizen of the USA?

It does not matter if the birth mother or birth father is not a citizen. The papers to place the child for adoption are legal and in order.  As you know adoption is very private and we would never share your private information. Whether you are a citizen or not does not, have any bearing on an adoption.

Who has to know about A Birth Mothers Adoption Plan?

Only the legal and the medical staff.  Privacy is very important to many Birth Mothers. Only the people the Birth Mother chooses to tell, will know.

Why do Birth Mother's Place Children For Adoption?

Generally, Birth Mothers love and want the very best for their children and have explored all other possibilities and alternatives before making an the important adoption plan for their child.  She has decided that is not the right time to parent.  It could be a first child and she may not feel financially stable enough. She may be in College. It may be a couple that has other children and they  know  how difficult raising  children and giving them everything they need and  that having another child will take resources from the other child/children.


***All questions and answers are from personal experience. Each state may have slightly different. We can always find out from your state what the answers are to all your questions***