Slow Down, Lets think about your choices......
These choices have remained the same over many decades. The only difference is how people react. The great thing is the solutions to your problem have all become acceptable.
There are always going to be friends/family that have some opinion that is overbearing or hurtful.
You are in control. You decide who gets to know, when/if they know and who gets to have an opinion.
It is important to know that you can and should explore all of the avenues available to you.
The content of this entire site was provided by the 100's of wonderful women who have walked before you. I am so proud they chose to let me walk with them.
LETS GET STARTED WITH OPTIONS...
Every state is different as far as how long you have before it is past time to terminate the pregnancy. Would a woman choose abortion if she had not felt the pressure of a deadline to make the decision. Abortion may be a good choice in some situations, but I hear many woman say, "I wish I they had given me more time, I only had a week left. No one told me that adoption could have offered me most of what a surrogate gets".
Many women get an abortion because they are having financial difficulties in everyday life and know that a baby (or another child) would really put them in a position that it would be impossible to handle. Many of these same women do not realize that through adoption most all states now allow adoptive parents to help by paying all of the living and medical expenses for the birth mother, just like a surrogate. You would not have to work unless you wanted to, especially jobs and hours that would make it hard on a pregnancy. Abortion may be a good choice for some women, but I would hope every woman would be intelligent enough to research what could happen with any termination, physically and emotionally, during and after such a serious procedure. We are not trying to get into the abortion debate, we are exploring options. That means realizing there are some serious issues that come with any medical procedure.
People get so caught up in not wanting to take away a woman's rights that they forget, a woman should also have the right to know the full facts about the procedure and details about what her other options really are. Then, if she chooses abortion, it is her decision. If you are thinking about abortion because you simply can not afford to be pregnant or you just don't have a desire to parent, then you might want to think about turning an unplanned pregnancy into an planned financial surrogacy for a couple that needs your help. And they can help you emotionally and financially.
There is no greater honor than being a parent....If you are ready. The true definition of the best parent is doing the best thing for your child, no matter what. If you are not prepared then it can be an overwhelming situation for the parent and the child. It is hard to know until you have had some real experience just how difficult it is to raise a child. Everything seems possible especially if the father makes promises that you have no way of knowing he will keep. The only problem is if you get into parenting before you are ready then you may end up not being the parent that you had hoped you would be. If you feel confident that parenting is what you should do and you have everything in place to make it happen, then you should parent. Parenting is a full time job. Do not rely on people that mean well with promises to help along the way. If you are not financially/emotionally in a place to take care of your child then you owe it to your child to figure out ahead of time how to make it work. Talk to other single moms and ask the hard questions. (We have moms you can speak with) No one wants to have to make an adoption plan but it can be an amazing experience. If you find yourself pregnant at the wrong time, then selecting a family to raise your baby like you want them raised can be great. We can help to find a loving family.
There are so many couples waiting to adopt. Our couples are the best of the best. Most have been through lots of infertility, and they are waiting on a special woman to help them have a family. They have the opposite problem from a woman struggling to decide what to do with an unplanned pregnancy. They tried to do all the things they were supposed to and put their lives in order to be ready to have a planned pregnancy, and then it did not happen. The woman that is ready and wants to be a mom and the special woman in the opposite situation now need to find each other so both of their lives can be complete. If you are are at a place in your life that for whatever reason can't give a child what you know they deserve, then let us help you find a mom that you can help. Adoption is like taking two mothers and making one perfect one for a child. A child can never have too many people love them. Many birthmoms tell us that they care so much for their couple that they feel like they are being surrogates for them. (The unplanned surrogacy ) The adoption attorneys that we work with only work with couples who have completed all the necessary work to have a complete background (social and criminal) done by a licensed adoption social worker. In addition to their homestudy, we require these adoptive parents understand all of the healthy aspects of giving a child all the knowledge about their birthparents and the importance of caring for and keeping a birthmom informed about a child's progress as they grow into an adult. Each couple is mentored by a previous adoptive parent. If a birth parent chooses not to receive pictures and updates. (She may have reasons that she can not.) She can always get them later.
How does a birthmom live with all of her daily expenses plus any additional ones as the pregnancy proceeds?
Each state is different but many allow for:
*RENT (back rent if behind)
*DAYCARE ( for your other children)
*COUNSELING (not required but available)
Many other things fall into the heading for EXPENSES. If you have an expense that you would like to know is covered, please feel free to ask (call/text/email)
Many women can not financially afford to be pregnant for months. It is important for a pregnant woman that is placing a baby, not to be stressed physically or emotionally. Most states allow for living expenses to be paid, so that she does not need to worry about day to day problems.
Adoption has come a long way in the last 10-15 years. When we started 26 years ago our group was "the different group", we were doing semi-open adoption way before it was popular. It was important to us that our child's birthmom always know that her child was happy and healthy. She had made a very unselfish decision, and we wanted her to be able to live each day knowing he was ok. It made perfect sense to me, so we fit together perfectly. I did not expect it to be easy for her, but I wanted her to know that she truly did not have to ever worry about her child being loved, safe and happy. If she ever worried, I wanted her to call me. That was in 1993, and to this day, we still trade pictures and keep up with each other. She is a part of my heart.
We teach adoptive parents to understand that during the adoption process they do not need to be afraid of the openness. Many times people are just uneasy with something that is new and different. It is very simple to understand that you can never have too many people that love and protect your child. We do not let our parents move forward with an adoption plan until we are comfortable that they will treat their birthmom/birthparents with the love and respect they should. Most of the parents in our group are referred to us by one of our other parents who already know and feel the way we do. It can make both sides a little nervous to meet for the first time, but after the first meeting everyone tells me, "Wow, this feels like we have know each other forever." We may not be right for every potential adoptive parent, but we feel strongly that the way we want our birthmoms treated is the right way. If the parents can not take the time to learn and understand, then they will need to find a different route in their adoption plan.
Each adoption can be very different. We take the birthmoms requests and help mold it into an adoption situation that works with the kind of couple they want. Some women prefer a more closed traditional situation for personal reasons.